Afraid of public speaking? How to use fear as fuel.
You can overcome your fear of public speaking, by rethinking your strategy. I would like to propose an approach developed from my own experience that also uses the five steps to overcome panic attacks known as the AWARE steps, as described by Dr. David Carbonell, in his blog.
In addition, I combined the AWARE steps, with techniques for the building of the new you, as a presenter: the Supra speaker
The cure.
Acceptance is the first and most important step in any personal transformation process. It comes after much suffering most times. When an individual realizes that he or she can not suffer any longer, the person chooses to take action towards the end of the suffering. The right attitude appears in the form of acceptance: I have a problem, but I choose to solve it. In this case, the acceptance statement could be: “I feel afraid of speak in public, but I choose to overcome my fear”.
Additionally, it is important to keep in mind that the transformation is not aassequential process, in which, first you get rid of the fear and later you learn to be a proficient speaker. The reality is that you need to do both activities simultaneously.
The fear could and, most likely, would reappear any time. You should learn how to “ride” the fear, in order to overcome it. It is with practice, and exposure as presenter, that the person uses the fear energy to improve as a speaker.
Next comes the understanding and handling of the actual fear. Here I introduce the AWARE steps:
Acknowledge & Accept
Wait & Watch (and maybe, Work)
Actions (to make myself more comfortable)
Repeat
End
1. Acknowledge and Acceptance of your fear: “I am afraid, not in danger”
- Acknowledge the feeling of fear of public speaking. Understand that it is human to feel it. Do not try to ignore it or get distracted. Stop blaming yourself, your bad luck or your boss for request your presentation.
- Accept the feeling in the present moment, do not try to resist it, fight it, ignore it or force it to disappear. Do not struggle, let the feeling flow
As a headache, you do not like it, but you do not start to bang your head against the wall to worsen it.
Public speaking is not a dangerous situation. It won’t kill you, or make you the target of a killer. Sometimes it could help you to keep your life if you happened to have to negotiate with kidnappers or other delinquents! Relax, I’m just kidding!
2. Wait, watch and maybe, work. While in fear, or in any other uncomfortable situation, give yourself a little time to choose your next move. Use your breathing to focus and gain time. Then notice your thoughts and body sensations. When possible, write down what are you are experiencing. It would help you track your responses, and figure out better responses in the future. Sometimes, this is the activity or work the technique refers to.
3. Action: to help you concentrate and allow the panic to go away, the best method seems to be breathing, in the way of the babies, and the yogis. Deep belly breathing allows your mind to focus in the present moment, and also relax the body. Other technique used by some people is talking mentally to them, reassuring that the situation will end soon and also that the result will be perfect. I personally prefer breathing, but I suggest you try both, and choose the one that work best for you.
4. Repeat: any task is mastered by practicing, and overcoming your fear of public speaking is not the exception. You can increasilly add complexity to the situation, starting with smaller audiences, short or easy speeches, until you reach the level of proficiency you require.
5. End: this step is only to remind you that, all panic attacks or discomforts reach and end. As soon as you get your level of confidence, the panic situation could end, even before the presentation starts.
In an upcoming article, I will present to you a tool to support your efforts towards public speaking success.
Many people believe that their life would be perfect without the challenges of a job, a spouse, children or their own health. Some of them spend huge amounts of energy complaining, warring, feeling depress, blaming others for their challenges or difficulties. Few consider acknowledge their roots, reviewing their core values, consulting with their inner wisdom, to overcome difficulties and flourish, transforming their negative thoughts about their circumstances into understanding, learning from them to become better human been.
When I face difficulties in life, I remember the way of the grapevines. The best vintages of life were planted digging deep, looking for nurture inside ourselves, even when we think it is scarce. This is a personal transformation task I think should be a priority. We cannot share the fruits that we do not have. Like good wine, life is to share and enjoy with love ones, friends and family, but first we should reach inner peace.
My wish for you, who is reading this, is that you can dig deep with your roots, find answers, flourish and share with others, while experiencing happiness in the process.
