“THE” Method: a powerful tool to improve your communication skills.
Remember the old said: think before speak? This is important, but not enough! That’s why I decided to create a simple method to teach my coaching clients how to prepare themselves before speaking to Somebody, in a way that increases the chances to effectively communicate true ideas and intentions.
I called it “THE” Method: Think – Heart feel – Express.
By “THE” method, the step in between think and speak is to feel: “connect” with the feeling that your thoughts triggers in your body, in your heart.
The heart is the so called “emotional” center of your body. That’s why, when we try to convey sincerity, deep feelings and passion, we usually “speak from our hearts”.
Thoughts from a situation or originated by a specific person or circumstance, can be multiple, with different or even contradictory meanings, since thoughts are just interpretations of facts. We usually filter facts based on our personal experience, knowledge, other’s opinions and similar influences. But our body knows better. Our thoughts are, basically, controlled by our rational mind. On the other hand, our body responds to the unconscious mind, where a well of information is stored, to truly connect us with other human beings in a more clear and direct way.
The physical responses or sensations to a given situation are universal, regardless of language, culture or level of education. Fear for instance, triggers shivers from Alaska to Australia in the similar way. Coats do not prevent them!
Seriously. Body responses to thought have been studied and document in numerous scientific research, from psychologists to sociologists, and used with success in diverse fields, from aerospace, marketing to the art of dating.
When we are able to identify in our body “how it feels: regarding and specific thought or idea, we can ensure that, in most cases, our physical response or feeling will match the one other people will feel, in a similar situation. Then we can choose the appropriate words to express that thought, in a more empathetic way.
I would like to focus the attention here just a little more into words. Any language has a lot of different words that could express, more or less accurately, any specific idea. But there is always the one that will express you more accurately. Word choice is an art by itself that we can master thru reading, paying attention to people that impact others, in a similar fashion that the one we would like to master. Observe the examples, study them. And then, simply, follow the examples. I would elaborate on this subject in an upcoming post.
From now on, just try “THE” method. At the beginning, you might think is a little ambitious or overwhelming to try to pay attention to your thoughts and feelings before speaking. But with practice, I ensure you will master the method easily. My suggestion is you try it first to prepare for schedule conversation, for instance, to a good friend, your spouse or a colleague. Then, include the method in your daily routine conversations, since we probably face similar people or situations every day.
Soon you will realize that you will start to “Heart Feel” your words before you express your ideas, in a natural and fluent way.
I’ve used “THE” Method in my personal life, as well as taught it to my clients, with very positive results. Nevertheless, results might vary according to specific situations, the openness of the receptor of our words, and other considerations.
The most common results are a higher level of clarity in your communication, better acceptance and understanding of your message.
Give it a try! And please feel free to share your experience, doubts or any other impact “THE” Method have in your life.
Lots of love and light!